There was a time in the time when we were innocent, and every thing was immense.Maybe, in those times, we were waiting for something that never came.Or maybe we were hurt.
In those times...
But our heart was little; because little we were.
In those times such an open bread?
...Times when we were corduroy of iron.
I won't may walk with the child I was nevermore; and he couldn't wash my sins away.
Because he couldn't save me from my evil of man.
But learning to love; maybe, I could make him smile in peace.
Wherever he is.
...Though is getting late now.
Late now.
II
My life was a complete...waste...
I never saw the good or the sweetness in my days: the nömenclature of the sky stars just escaped from my path, with rëpugnance: the light started fading. Fading away.
Because I didn't know about Heaven & the Hell; but now.
Now I'm goin' blind (can't you see the waters reached till the soul?)
Ev'ry night i screamed for my liberation: where is the light at the end of this corridor. Where the light is?
Shadows of death surrounded me...if I could kiss you, my love; my sweet, sweet love.
________________________________
In days of my youth, I used to laugh like a little girl: that sunny street was a friend of mine, and this black raïn seemed so distant.
Distant.
But now my blood was removed and changed, I was absolved and apart from all my tasks.
But from all my dreams, too.
It’s going to rain love from Heaven for me?
III
I just was a defect to be fixed. Or better yet: removed.
Just a loser; I'm just a loser; a loser; I can't win.
I don't...
compute for the celestial lights above; I'm a living dead.
Like a fallen being, whose hopes are all dead and gone; is in the shadows were I will stay.
And in the shadows i want to stay.
It feels like a departure in the night.
There is a strange force, a brand new...
and is pushing me towards...I feel I got to get in too deep...deeper.
I was cornered, dehümanized. My mind is getting törtil now, unpredictable.
Is here and is now: an eternal summer in the black: opaque images, obscene yearnïngs...
The Lady of Elche did rise from the tomb: the monolith woman...this is a cürse; a fucking damned cürse, and I hate, hate, hate.
I hate it.
I hate myself and I never wanted to live.
In my dementia I see it like luminous.
Is time.
Now.
If I were a God's son...could I beg?
Would you hear?
Hear.
Hear.
Hear.
Hear.
Hear.
The grudge did fill my eyes: the days go by all the same and while the sunlight gets filtered acröss the air all in yellow...
All fades to grey mud.
Now I run away like a shade into that interminable chasm.
Cut off.
Where all these worries are goin' to go, my?
The life is just a dream of ashes; and the dreams, dreams are.
The obscürity shall prevail, I know.
The death is the definitive reality.
Certainly I was vile like a worm; because ¿what is the man born from a woman? What is the human, to be counted?
To matter...
The sepulchre awaits and on its bitterness my eyes are fixed under the Sun.
The designs of my hëart were all darkened, and thrown to the oblivion...I know the time is near; and my place won't be found anymore.
Because their scorn has come to be like my clothing: free me; free me please...
whoever used to see me, avoided my presence.
Because I was forgotten by their hearts like a dead man.
Let me drown away; down.
Down into the nothing, the hole. And the hole never ends...
Is getting late.
