Jacques Manwell Du Tronc was born in La Guyanne in 194...
As his mother used to say, he was born into a kettle, and since his most tender childhood he felt that his family was a bit different: himself was born being a nerd.
Also his mother, Pabla Alberta Le Pen-Du Tronc, was a little strange.
On the other hand, his father, Rodondendro Matilda Du Tronc, had constant problems with his health: he had two hearts, and a tit on his forehead.
Jacques Manwell (error of their parents, who wanted to name him 'Manuel', but just wrote it wrong, because they were analphabets), he, was called 'Manolo' from his tender childhood, and loved to play guitar (also he played with his ass): here is the first band he formed with his neighbours: 'The Retards': it was 1964, and the 'Beatlemania' was leaving everybody stupid.
Being older, Manolo Du Tronc formed many bands of pop 'a go-go', like 'The Dukes of The Nonsene': as can be seen on the picture, their expensive outfits and silly but difficult stage pyrotechnics made them abandon.
After this idiocy, Manolo formed several bands a go-go, like 'The Losers', 'The Brisks'...
...the duet 'Two are Multitude', with Bernardo Neustadt...
Or 'Los Fliters', in Spain (band that was dipersed several times by the Franquist police, by means of flamethrowers, and all the members were finally sent to jail, and kept without water to drink, and with a stick encrusted into the arse during 4 weeks)...
...Another band was 'Fast Wank', formed in an excursion of Manolo to the UK.
Their style was too sensual, and they were banned, and finally all the members had to exile in the Corporative Republic of the Communist Peoples of Zimbabwe.
The drummer, especially, who was a ladiesman, was sent to jail for immorality during 42 years: in fact he was released one week ago.
The last band Manolo formed was called 'Sucking socket', they played some gigs in France & Italy, but the bassist, Richard Nixon died horribly electrocuted during a show: he was carbonised alive, in the middle of the audience's laughter (they thought it was a stage trick).
Truly tired and sad with so much disaster, Manolo decided to start a solo career as pop idol for teen girls: he recorded a single, but the sales were nonexistent, Manolo was desperate, he didn't know what to do anymore (is in this right moment when he started doing drugs, especially injectable bleech, and smokeable gomina).
Nonetheless, the destiny would give him a hand...
One night, totally alcoholized at the miserable club 'Il Pasticchio', in Paris, Manolo was dancing without pants, and suddenly appeared the Paraguayan performer 'Margarito Tereré' on stage, who introduced a brand new show of heavy mental, absolute novelty for the time: the noisy music, the leather and the sado-masochist outfits made Manolo freak out: immediately returned home, and composed 79 songs in one night, all 'heavy metal' styled, already he found his north and orientation: would take it to the extreme.
Suddenly Manolo Du Tronc changed his look, that for the 70s was very outrageous and menacing, wearing black leather and sunglasses of cunt.
Manolo recorded 97 demos, all rejected by 798 record companies, but he didn't surrender...
In that moment Manolo Du Tronc had a personality crisis, and started wearing strange sunglasses and a look a la Rod Stewart (famous rocker of the time): his music changed: from heavy mental, to 'progressive-techno-heavy metal-experimental-proto punk'.
He started playing live with a band of midgets who used to set their arses on fire during the shows: this was called his 'experimental epoch'.
...The shows became too strange at the time, the 'punk rock' already started and the people wanted outrage and insults, but Manolo just gave them 'space rock' and experimental bullshit...Manolo was totally into the alcohol in this epoch, and he wished to put all his alcoholic nightmares on a stage, using FX, guillotines, plastic boas that devoured him live, and vomited him, midgets disguised as aliens from the outer space, the musicians had sex on stage, hogs and goats were sacrificed live, and also were celebrated black masses on stage, with Manolo as Pope.
Back then he used to wear 50 cm. heels, and he started using another shocking trick on stage: walking on chickens with his huge heels, shattering the poor animals alive: the affair appeared on TV and Manolo was accused of perverse, and sent to jail during one year: his 'experimental epoch' ended brusquely.
In 1980 he was released from jail, and came back, hungry for 'la revanche': then changed drastically his look, as the image shows:
In 1980 he was released from jail, and came back, hungry for 'la revanche': then changed drastically his look, as the image shows:
Manolo was furious, angry, he was another person, an animal, yes that: he was an animal.
Within an inch and quickly, Manolo Du Tronc formed a band to make 'heavy mental', the name he chose was quite uninspired: 'Storm Warrior': Manolo recruited some wankers, low life and offenders, and could finally release his first album: 'The cunt of your mama', album that reached a fulminatory success in Europe, but that was banned in US, appearing his censored version only, as seen on the picture:
A second album, idiotically named 'Heavy metal fire' was released, with frenetic success all over the world, and millionaire sales: Manolo Du Tronc finally had a marathonic world tour during 24 months non-stop, playing in places like Mongolia, Perú, the Belgian Congo, or the town of Canelones, Uruguay: Manolo reached the status of a myth, and was called 'the new Alice Cooper', by a newspaper, but he rejected that moniker, and did set the newspaper's building on fire. Finally he was not sent to jail, because he was a famous now.
...In 1985 someone said, on a TV show, that Manolo looked like a female singer (the name of the singer is not important for the story), showing a video, and comparing Manolo Du Tronc with that singer...unfortunately Manolo was watching that programme, and full of ire, furor and fueled by 15 litres of Asturian cider, ran to the TV station with his band, decided to anything...
This is the right moment when Manolo and the band arrive to the TV station: someone called for the police to stop the beast and his blood lust, but...
...But it was too late: Manolo already found the guy who said that retarded gossip, and shattered him alive with his knife, and then, after this macabre, nefarious event, Manolo devoured the corpse of the poor journalist, raw and without salt.
Notwithstanding, Manolo was not sent to jail, because he, now, was quite a famous person.
After these horrific deeds, something made him finally abandon the music: in the middle of the winter he was making a huge penis with snow: suddenly had a heart attack, due to the cold: -49ºc, so he was sent in emergency to the hospital, where the doctors could barely save his life.
He did swear to abandon the rock music and the excess, because, as he said: it was a signal.
One day after Manolo abandoned officially his career as outraging metalhead, an UFO abducted him, while he was walking by the street, this is the image:
Here there is a second image from the abduction, taken from another angle, with a high-precision camera
Also his pet, a rheumatic kitten got terribly scared seeing the abduction, fact that was, like any supernatural thing, coming from the Sun, or maybe Venus, terrible and scary.
Nobody saw Manolo Du Tronc anymore, noBODY, ever, never; never ever.
You see now how a life of crimes and excesses ends, isn't?: somehow you'll got to pay: probably Manolo Du Tronc is in HELL now (I'm not sure, though), but yeah ladies & ladies: this is the wickeds' end.
And it's a sad, sad story indeed, but now I have to go prepare some churros, if you allow me to.
Thank you
