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Will try to say something about myself now: well, my family comes from the mountains of Cangues d'Tinéu, minimum village, lost somewhere in the depths of the principality of Asturies, northern Spain: the comarque of Cangues d'Tinéu is inhabited by elves, giants, nymphs, dwarves, harpies, phantasmal spectres and any sort of hirsute creatures, who share brusquely the environment with the few humans (hirsute too) who durst to live over there since the dawn of the times.
The weather of the comarque is hot and dry, the winters are polar though, and these peculiar characteristics arouse, dare one say, a rather laconic, if not brutal idiosyncrasy on the aboriginal, and according to said idiosyncrasy I was raised: the only vocable I knew until my eleventh year of life was "MU", moment when I started going to school.
Due to a rampant and strange ability to read everything at high speed, I turned into an unbearable prick in two years, since my first scholar incursion, and realising about the animality of my family, started treating them with a patronising, almost condescending tone, situation that reached its last straw when I started walking them, tied, by the neighbourhood.
Searching for something of that primeval thrill, decided to reply to the call of the blood, and traveled world, toward that old Asturies, to see what the fuck.
The world turned into a small handkerchief to me, and just arrived to Cangues d'Tinéu, had to fight against two powerful dwarves, a muscular giant, and a menacing and evil black-fairy, monsters that finally I could beat, thanks to a thing called Winchester. Not to name three harpies who everyday passed by, flying, and shat on my meal (I was living in the wilderness back then, in January, with -25ºc): with a mechanical device could finally catch and tie those annoying harpies, and tied, took them -myself- to the council of Cangues d'Tinéu, giving them to the only police officer of the comarque, who put the harpies under arrest.
Let's add that in the principality of Asturies, there are only 5 police officers, because it's a very tranquil region: the only problem is the numerous quantity of mythologic beings who over populate the province, and who, often, arouse incidents, mostly due to their primitive, bestial instincts.
Besides, the rainy condition of the mountain jungles of the province, such humidity, turn ogres, fairies, giants and elves into lecherous and perverse creatures, frequently: is not seldom seen the national army intervening to quench the appetite for sex and violence of these abominable desperadoes who, after all, are citizens.
Already is said in the Asturian proverb: "Like ogre giving you head, like elf breaking your arse", and such atmosphere of permanent violence and scandal turned the region into the most retarded part of the country.
Besides of this (aggressive environment and personal background that one way or another influenced my whole existence), I am currently starting a pitiful artistic career as musician, though my merseybeat a go-go is barely appreciated in Asturies, due to the age of the population, mostly over the 80 years old, being the oldest population of the world: some Asturian aboriginals can live until the 190, 250 and even 300 years, with a good diet.
Considering the next steps in my career, maybe could turn my art into something more shocking, like Goebbels said: "Lie, lie: something will remain", I was considering start making 'noise' music a la Masonna, or Merzbow; or maybe paintings with shit.
Time will tell, my esteemed.
Much affection: Dani G.
